In June 2010 we decided to return to South Africa after nearly 8 years in the UK. To do this, we decided to wrap our return within a positive approach. It was not a decision to be ignorant, but to not be bogged down by negativity. This was a choice, our choice. We had enough to deal with. To pack-up our lives and travel back, start-up new lives and to introduce our girls to the place(s) that we still called home. Our choice included avoiding News24, not to tolerate the doubters, sceptics and poisonous realists who did not understand our decision to head south. These were unwanted, unneeded. They would not understand the values that we embraced and our need to return home. We were not going to take their fears with us or be burdened by their demons.

Obviously we lived in South Africa before for more than 30 years , followed the news and were informed by friends and family over the years about the good, the bad and the ugly. We had a good idea about what awaits. This decision was also informed by my personal and professional belief that life’s real enemies and ghosts are often not the external ones, but the internal. I am conscious as I write this, that there are many who have been hurt or lost loved ones due to crime or has decided to move elsewhere due to fears about physical safety. I never judge these decisions, but cannot take their scars as mine. Just as in my professional capacity, I would “be” with those who bring their fears, tears and broken hearts and souls to me, travel with them to a place of healing but not take their pain or angst as my own.

On Friday past, this attitude was put to the test. We woke just after 3 a.m. to find that someone attempted to break into our garage. It was so unexpected. Over the last 2 months we have been consumed by my diagnosis of a brain tumour, the upcoming operation to remove it and the related fears that pounced upon us. In the light of the next morning we inspected the scene of the attempted crime, almost bemused by the intruder’s audacity. It was my wife who commented, “I thought I would be more scared”. I assume that after dealing with the depths of emotions and staring into the unknown, we were not going to become victims of either crime or fear. We are not going to feed the fears … not unnecessarily anyway …



Filed under My Brain Tumour and I, Psychology Reflections

10 responses to “DON’T FEED THE FEARS!

  1. Time for that coffee dude ! Say when..

  2. I shared this on Facebook Anton. I hope you don’t mind? You’ll be aware of the great affection with which you and your family are remembered by many in the UK.

  3. Yandri

    Ja, ja, ja! Dis so waar!

  4. Wow – this spoke to me now – thank you for sharing. You are in our thoughts and our prayers.

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