The Tough Going

I love those moments when creative thoughts awake in the cortex and streams like golden liquid down neuro-pathways onto the white screen. Words that splatter out ideas, experiences and events into a synchronised line of meaningful thought. Or when the artist’s imagination draws a vision that flows in charcoal and paint onto a canvass to bring beauty into life.

But occasionally dark skies cloud the psyche and dwarf the imagination into submission. Troubled times arrive in the form of external events and dries the magic and steals the funny bones. And no, not all of these shadow times relate to brain tumours or cancer treatment. At times it is just life. Waves of “it happens” that saps the juice and suck the marrow from my fruit. Not so much Carpé Diem, more crap and damn.

It has been a rough 4 weeks. In between my car breaking down (twice), a broken tooth and attempts to replace it with a temporary implant (3 times and still not right), a drawn out winter the soaks Spring into a foggy memory and aiming to take that big grown-up jump again into the dark (called house hunting), the good times have been sidelined. Over the same period work slowed downed, adding pressure on responsibilities such as paying the tax master. It felt like sinking, drowning in the smoky skies.

Wet Winter

While holding up this grim picture, I am not bursting into sing and dance. I am actually not a great believer in positive thinking, or when the dark cloud comes rolling over the hills that you should start searching for the silver lining. When the dark clouds appear, find shelter. The storm while pass, but while it sweeping down and pouring gallons of water on the earth, curl up under a warm blanket. Stay dry, stay warm. It’s OK to cuddle up.


Filed under Psychology Reflections, This thing called life

4 responses to “The Tough Going

  1. Oh dear Anton. What more can I say. Being a positive thinker, I want to cheer you up. But, with no words.

    Cuddle up my friend, but not for too long! Nou wonder ek wie sorg vir die sielkundige se siel?

    • Ah, the old automatic response of wanting to cheer up. Much appreciated Lidia, but the dark clouds are not soul-destroying (although the last few weeks broke the bank a bit!). Despite it being tough and unwanted, I cannot wish for a perfect life or a smooth ride all the time.
      The care for my soul comes in the form of my running shoes, finding a path among the vineyards and mountains, closeness to my wife and kids and good wine with good friends. I think I should write something about that next time.

  2. colourmecrazee

    mmm, some food for thought. ja, i know what you mean … sterkte daar.

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